Gift Etiquette: Eight Taboos in Gift Giving


• 作者: Ms Cathy Yang
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• 刊登日期: 2024-09-18 13:03:31
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• 243 人已經看過
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Gift Etiquette: Eight Taboos in Gift Giving


The act of giving gifts, sometimes called gifting, serves the purpose of maintaining connections and fostering relationships in social interactions. Gift-giving is a way for individuals to express friendship, gratitude, respect, and blessings to others, bringing joy and happiness to the recipients.

Generally, gifts can be categorized based on their shelf life into "disposable" gifts such as candies, fresh flowers, calendars, movie tickets, and "permanent" gifts. The latter refers to items that can be kept long-term and reused, such as artwork, jewellery, books, and ornaments. While the former is practical, the latter carries deeper significance. The key to selecting gifts is practicality and appropriateness. Gifts should ideally be well-suited to convey genuine emotions, achieving a balance of lightness in materiality and depth in sentiment.

For casual social interactions like visiting someone's home or going on a date, inexpensive "small gifts" such as a bouquet of flowers, a box of sweets, local specialties, a bottle of wine, etc. are suitable choices. When it comes to family or close friends with whom there is frequent interaction, it may not be necessary to bring anything as it wouldn't be considered impolite. However, on special occasions such as elders' birthdays, colleagues' weddings, or friends' childbirth, it's thoughtful to opt for more upscale and exquisite "permanent" gifts to convey your sentiments.

When considering the types of gifts, it's essential to consider cultural backgrounds and the taboos that have developed over time. These taboos predominantly include:

1. Taboos related to cultural customs:
In Chinese tradition, it's taboo to gift clocks or shoes to the elderly, umbrellas or pears to lovers, knives or medicines to friends, among others. This is due to the negative connotations associated with these items in Chinese culture.

2. Cultural differences between countries:
Symbols like peacocks and cranes hold different meanings in various cultures. While they may symbolize celebration and longevity in China, they can carry negative connotations in other countries like the UK. Understanding and respecting these cultural disparities are crucial in gift-giving.

3. Taboos related to the recipient:
It's important to consider the recipient's personal circumstances. Avoid giving couple-themed gifts like matching shirts or couple pillows to unmarried individuals to prevent discomfort. Similarly, gifts like MP3 players to the hearing-impaired or telescopes to the visually impaired should be avoided.

4. Gift-giving etiquette between genders:
When giving gifts to friends of the opposite sex, it's essential to break away from traditional gender norms to avoid misunderstandings. Pay attention to these nuances when selecting gifts.

As a woman, it is not appropriate to give ties, scarves, belts, or personal items as gifts to acquaintances of the opposite sex. These items, as they are worn close to the body, symbolize a significant connection and can be seen as a romantic gesture, akin to a maiden tossing a ball with the implied message of "please accompany me." Therefore, they should only be gifted to one's husband or boyfriend. The reasons why the latter category of gifts should not be casually given to the opposite sex are self-evident.

For men, interacting with women other than their wives or girlfriends is inevitable, and at times, giving gifts may be a natural occurrence. To play it safe and avoid suspicion, consider the recipient's husband, children, or parents as the assumed recipients of the gift. By doing so, everyone can remain at ease.

5. Taboos related to numbers.

Odd and even numbers are significant: Various countries have their own beliefs regarding the number of gifts. In China, it is customary to give gifts in pairs for good luck, while odd numbers are more appropriate for funerals.

In Africa, like in China, odd numbers are associated with pessimism and negativity.
However, the Japanese view on numbers is quite the opposite. They consider odd numbers to be lucky and auspicious while they are indifferent towards even numbers.
Numbers hold significance, and as Chinese people lean towards auspiciousness in all aspects of life, the number of gifts is also influenced by this. For most Chinese people, "6" and "8" are highly favoured, while "4" is avoided. "6" signifies smoothness and "8" is closely related to prosperity. "4" is associated with "death." If one must mention "4," they can try to express it as "two pairs."
Japanese people have strong prejudices against the numbers "4" and "9" because they sound like "death" and "suffering" in Japanese, respectively. In Western countries, numbers like "13" and "666" are considered unlucky and are taboo.

6. Colour taboos

The world is full of colours, and gifts and their packaging are often associated with colours. Generally, people's preferences for colours are often linked to their personalities. For example, active people tend to like warm colours, while calm individuals prefer cool colours. Young people may like romantic colours like pink, light green, pale yellow, and light blue, while older individuals may prefer darker, more subdued colours like black, grey, and blue. It's important to understand the recipient's colour preferences in this regard.

Different countries have varying interpretations and taboos regarding colours due to their cultural backgrounds. In China, red symbolizes joy, yellow represents nobility, and white signifies mourning, and these views have remained unchanged throughout history. However, red symbolizes death in North Africa, yellow represents mourning in Brazil and Ethiopia, and black is a colour of mourning in Western cultures. Lack of understanding in this area can lead to international social awkwardness.

7. Taboos that hinder normal interactions.

Unless they are close relatives, stocks or futures certificates should not be given as gifts as this can put the recipient in an awkward position.
If not valuable local products, other common foods should not be given as gifts due to their perishable nature and restrictions due to hygiene conditions, especially in formal settings.

8. Gifts that can affect the recipient's health and cause family discord.

For example, cigarettes pose health risks, and mahjong can lead to gambling, so they should not be given as gifts.

Therefore, there are many aspects to consider when giving gifts. Apart from these eight major taboos, adjustments should be made based on the occasion, practices, gift reception, and reciprocity etiquette. Gift-giving is not about flaunting oneself, bribing the recipient, or expecting a tit-for-tat response. Therefore, when presenting gifts in social settings, it is important to be meticulous in etiquette to prevent joyous occasions from turning into conflicts.

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